Need some very important feedback!

[LegoShark]

Ok, so I do the One to One Program at the Apple Store. I've been taking lessons for a wile, and for the second time, I've been asked to present at a showcase where all of the one o=to one students show off their stuff I happen to be presenting a few stop-motion things, and this is what I have so far- YouTube - Apple Advert by LegoShark Its being presented at the Apple store on July 10th (2:00-4:00) at the Apple store in Manhattan village, california at the One to One showcase. I'm presenting as the youngest Pro user in my area at age 13, so feedback much appreciated!

[baseballboy828]

I liked the concept, and have two major suggestions.

1) Get rid of the PC speakers at the end. It doesn't make sense to me, and just distracts from the beautiful mac stuff on the floor.
2) Use Apple's font for the text. I'd suggest using Adobe's Myriad Pro Semibold, which is what apple uses on most of its packaging. Apple also occasionally uses Helvetica Neue.

Overall, good job. It just needs a little cleanup to give it that Apple-like finish.

[Yuiichi]

I like what you've got there, especially the zoom-in at the end on the Apple logo. However, I'm not a fan of the text you've got going on. I see what you're trying to show: this stuff is Apple, this stuff is not. But I think anyone can see that, as the only non-apple product is those speakers. If you want to show the difference, I suggest getting the speakers over there and then removing them, as they don't fit in with the other stuff. That would probably bring your point across even more!

Also, I think that you should just leave the Apple logo at the end, without the "Apple" underneath it.

These are my suggestions! You're doing great work with stop motion LegoShark - be sure to show us more of your work!

[philbowell]

I agree with getting rid of the speakers. I'd also make sure the typeface is right as BBB said and as Yuiichi said take the Apple out from under the logo (it's what Apple do see the touch advert). The only other suggestion I have is to try and use a 3rd generation Nano instead of a 1st, but that's purely because everything else is the current line.

Just watched again, and I would maybe think about making sure the Apple word is in the same place all the time. It's a little lost the first time, and I think the consistency would help to hammer home your point. But that may be me just being nit-picky.

[baseballboy828]

Like phil mentioned, watch a few Apple ads and look at the way they present their text and logos.

[Galley]

Get rid of the fugly speakers. There's really no need for the "Apple" text.

[lonnie]

It's not an easy "fix" but the default Leopard desktop would fit better than the earth picture. Nice work - you should be very proud of yourself, especially at 13 years old.